Month: April 2022

On Pause

Things seem to be on pause the past few days. I know that there’s something on its way. The universe as told me so. I’ve been receiving numbers like crazy and tons of synchronicities.

It’s in these moments that karma is being sorted out and all I need to do is learn a lesson that has been presented to me. I feel that in my bones, and I even know what it is. I have to forgive myself for things I’ve been holding onto.

Some of those things I’ve been holding onto since childhood and some are newer. I either have to make amends or change my perspective. I know it’s in the past, I’ve already made amends to the people and gotten closure, but I’m holding onto the shame and guilt.

How do you forgive yourself for something you’ve not forgiven someone else for? I don’t think that you can. So I’ve discovered that my task has gotten bigger, not to mention I thought I had let it go.

The universe is telling me if I forgive and let go I will turn the wheel, this difficult cycle will end, yet here I am…stuck and all I want to do is cry. I want to forgive and move on, but my body won’t let it go. It’s really frustrating.

Devise a Plan

I’ve been receiving messages over the past few days that it’s time to form a plan. It is hard to manifest what you wish for if you don’t have a clear idea of what you’d like or where you are going. Write it down and be specific. What is your hearts desire?

Dr Joe Despenza, in his book Becoming Supernatural talks about mind movies. These mind movies are created with software and create a movie with music and quotes to acclimate your body to the frequency of what you want to manifest. You get yourself into receiving mode and play your mind movie.

I don’t intend to buy this software, but I can create a picture or day in the life in my mind and in my journal. I could make a vision board. What would that day look like? Who would I interact with. How would I feel? Really familiarize myself with what my body/emotions would feel like if I were living that life now.

It’s time to sit down and really feel it out. Come up with my plan.

Finding My Voice

How does one go about finding their voice? I have been getting nudges during my meditations, journalling and card pulls to use my voice. My abundance will come when I find my voice. This brings so much anxiety, because I have always felt that my voice doesn’t matter.

I was raised in an atmosphere where children were not valued for their ideas. I learned that fighting to be heard and sharing my opinions only got me punished or shamed. My ideas were only valid if they were good ideas, but how does a child know what a good idea is? The way that I reacted to this was to become introverted, say less, do more of what was expected. In this process I lost my authentic voice. I developed a fear of expressing my true authentic self because I percieved my worth to be determined by my ideas and thoughts.

Through this process of self discovery; of going within and confronting my traumas, I have learned that my coping mechanisms have lead me to is a place where I don’t have anyone that I connect with on a deep level. I have relationships built on external validation, internal protection, and a deep sense of lonliness. These types of connections happen when we can allow ourself to be authentic.

On the flip side, I have also learned that I am never alone. That my spirit guides, ancestors, and God are always with me. That to feel the depth of love and connection I must find myself. I must love, forgive, accept myself for the beautiful amazing woman I have become and have always been. I have learned that my worth is inherant. I do not earn it by someone liking my ideas. I always have that and so do you.

Part of this process is to share my authentic experience, my authentic voice with you. In doing this I hope to inspire others to look within, and find their authentic voice too.

Here are some things that I have been doing to get into alignment with my higher self:

Meditation – I do this daily even if it’s just for 10 minutes

Journalling – I write in my journal daily, even if it’s a list of things I am grateful for

Creative Expression – I like painting with acrylics on canvas, but you could do any mindfulness activity

Excercise/Yoga – Just moving your body, going for a walk, finding a yoga video on youtube.

Be in Nature – Literally hug a tree, take your shoes off and walk in the grass, hike, garden, lay on a beach, being in nature helps your body reset it’s frequency.

Before Bed – I list 5 things that I love about myself, just in my head

I really hope that this helps you. It will take time, and I am still discovering and learning. I really hope that I never stop.

Self Care Saturday

Our animals always take time out for self care, and they don’t appear to suffer from the guilt that sometimes goes along with it for humans. Is it no wonder that they seem happy and content much of the time.

Self care is important for our bodies and our minds to function in alignment with our highest self; yet choosing it over helping our friends and family, or completing some chore or errand may be seen as selfish. This can cause feelings of guilt and shame to surface.

I would like to challenge all of us to change our perceptions about self care and choose show ourselves love and compassion with acts of self care daily.

Today I decided to start with self care. I did my yoga, meditated, wrote in my journal. I’m lucky if I do just one of these things on a normal day, I’m glad to report that I feel balanced and centered as well as inspired to do the other things that require my attention today with a happy heart.