When our feelings are ignored by our caregivers as small children we develop trauma wounds around feelings. We begin to think that if my feelings are bad, then I must be bad. I am unlovable. I’m not worthy of love. Of course this is a simplified example, but you get the idea. In this example as a child you determine that you are unlovable. Yet, love is what we as humans desire most.
Our ego minds look to the world around us for evidence of what we believe at the core level. So, as we get older we unknowingly find people and situations to prove we are unlovable. We find friends and partners that we always have to prove our worth to.
If we do find people that try to show us love it feels uncomfortable. Often times we run from these people, or do something so they leave us. It doesn’t jive with our core belief that we are unlovable.
It’s important to recognize this pattern and do the healing necessary to allow love into your life. Especially, self love.