Category: Shadow Work

Remember to Ask for Help

I spent many years seeking out advice from others and applying their advice, only to have it all blow up in my face. I’ve learned that people only see things through the lens of their own experience.

Having compensated, I now fall into the trap of trying to figure everything thing out myself. When I have something weighing on my mind, I often feel like I need to solve it myself. Our minds are wonderful and amazing tools, but they are reliant on the things we have learned, experiences that we’ve had, and how we interpreted them. That means that if we haven’t worked on our traumas and shadow, our minds are filtering everything through them. That lead me to feel like I couldn’t even trust myself.

I have recently started to renew my faith and have been attending church on Sunday. Part of the message this week was about being a partner with God to create your life. I’m sure you’ve all heard the quote, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Pastor Joe says there is a word that is missing at the end of that quote, and I believe it too…God won’t give you more than you can handle together. God wants you to confide in him, to give him your worries and fears and to ask for his assistance.

I believe all spiritual roads lead to the same place, so if you cannot relate to my Christian God, apply the message to your creator. Universal wisdom is just that. Universal.

When you have something weighing on your heart, instead of letting it roll around and create doubt and fear in your mind, ask for help. Meditate, pray, talk it through with your creator, and open yourself up to receiving divine assistance.

Identify Your Patterns

One of the Universal Laws is that cycles are a natural part of the universe.

Cycles can be seen outwardly, like in nature, but we can also see them in our own lives. We have them in relationships, in work, and in our behaviors.

Yesterday before bed I was getting a nudge from my intuition to read a journal entry from the same day 2 years ago. I was surprised by what I read and a little sad.

In this entry from a couple of years ago I was writing about a situation that I am going through right now with the same people! I’ve been working through some really hard things these last few months, and having some really tough realizations about my behavior patterns.

The most interesting thing about this is that I was getting the same advice from my intuition. I think the reason I was guided to this entry was to show me, this is a pattern and it’s time to change it. What I chose the last time, brought me right back to the same place. It’s time to break that cycle, learn the lesson, start a new way of living, and a heathy behavior pattern.

Do you find yourself repeating old patterns in relationships, at work, or in your behaviors? You will probably continue to live out these cycles again and again until you take the time to dig in there and do the healing work. If you want something different, you have to do something different.

Heart in a Glass Case or Healthy Boundaries

This morning during meditation I was given some guidance that I felt it was important to share.

Spirt showed me a heart glowing in a glass case. The only way to get to this heart was a key, which I wore on a chain around my neck.

It’s okay to offer and show my love to the world in my actions and words, but I don’t have to offer everyone the key to my heart.

In order to do this you have to have healthy boundaries.

I have people in my life who have shut their heart away because that is what safe. If nothing can pernitrate their heart then it won’t hurt again. I have done this too. I grew up believing that love always hurt, and that I had to earn it. I learned that from people that had poor boundaries that I loved. I wasn’t taught how to protect myself, so I allowed everything, and thought that it was what I deserved.

Then, something amazing happened. I learned to meditate. I learned to tap into my higher guidance system, and I asked for help to remove the blockages and bring me clarity. I asked to be shown what I needed to heal, and what self limiting beliefs were keeping me stuck. You can do this too! You must! Love is the highest vibration there is, and that is what the human race needs. More love!!!

Instead of hiding your love away, do the work to set the healthy boundaries with the people you feel connected to. Express your love to the world! Do this through your words, actions!

Stop Being Hard on Yourself When Someone Doesn’t Listen to Your Advice.

I was reminded again this morning that even though you are able to see the bigger picture of a situation, not everyone is, especially those that are deeply entrenched in it. Even though you may have already discovered the lesson in the book they are reading they might not be at the part of the book to understand what’s going on. Or, they might be reading multiple books and need to get to a certain chapter in a different book to understand what’s going on in this one. They have to live through the chapters to understand the lesson. That’s what life is all about. They won’t understand until they are ready to.

The purpose of telling you this is because I want to give you support if you see a family member or friend going through something really hard, and the answers are clear to you, but they just can’t see it, or act upon it to better their situation. Ask any parent if you need examples.

Be patient with them and with yourself. Our journeys are unique. They may have lots of similarities, but we are not here to put everyone in a box. When we can accept our own experience, and meet ourselves where we are at, to express ourselves authentically… then we can hold that space for the people we love to accept themselves and their experiences. To learn the lessons and grow in their own time.

This is a big lesson for me and I am working to embrace this more. I like to think I have lots of wisdom that I have learned in my 47 years, and I would love to help my family and friends to benefit from the things I have discovered. When my friends or family ask my advice and then don’t accept my guidance, or even hear my advice because of the emotions of the situation, I start telling myself that I must not have conveyed the message clearly or they don’t care. Really, it’s because they aren’t there yet. Eventually, they will get there, and when they do we can have a party, but it’s important to accept where they are.

It’s also a lesson for me to work on that negative self talk in my brain that says I failed them in some way. You cannot help someone that isn’t ready to be helped. If they are not in resonance with the advice, it will not sink in. Be consistent, and eventually they will hear it and realize it’s just what they needed and like me, wonder what why it didn’t click sooner.

It’s a journey friends, we are all on a different one. Embrace it! Enjoy it!

And stop being hard on yourself when someone doesn’t listen to your advice!

Peace or Apathy

The holidays used to be a very busy time for me. I won’t go into the details here, because it’s a long story, but my life 10 years ago was full of traditions and people to spend my holidays with. Indeed life in general was full of distractions and tasks to get done. Little people to keep alive and happy, a husband, a household, and a job.

There was not a lot of me time to be had, but in the last 10 years people and things have slowly been leaving my life. At first this was anxiety inducing. I defined myself by all these things and my title as mother, wife, daughter, etc. When they slowly started fading away, I didn’t know who I was, and this was really hard for me.

I tried to fill up the space with social media, dating, projects etc. I felt bored, and alone. Nothing seemed to fulfill me.

Then, I started this spiritual journey, and began to discover the truth. Things and people were being removed from my life so that I could discover myself. I had prayed to discover a deep understanding of who I was, and I realize now that God gave me the tools and the space to do that. I am so very grateful.

I know that I still have a lot more to learn about myself, but I also know that I have the power to manifest what I truly desire. I wanted to know myself, and I am getting there. It took me a while to understand exactly what was happening and why, but now that I do, I am so grateful. The inner peace that I feel is amazing. I am even almost completely off the anxiety meds that I have been on for 20 years.

Some days I mistake this peace with apathy. It takes awhile for your subconscious to get on board, but I am being patient with it these days.

Just remember, when you ask God/Universe for big changes in your life, and then world as you know if starts to crumble, that the old will need to be removed for the new to have space. God will take the straightest route. Your intuition will be your GPS.

Love Yourself

There is a golden rule in Christianity that says “Do unto others that you’d have done to you,” but society has focused on others, and forgotten the part where we must also show ourselves love.

We focus so much on being kind to others and treating them with respect, even if we aren’t treating ourselves that way.

We have to give ourselves the love and kindness we give others. If we aren’t giving it to ourselves first, others won’t either. Like attracts like, it’s one of the universal laws. We show people how to treat us, how to love us.

When there isn’t a balance between loving ourself and others codependency results. I need to prove my love and kindness to others and forsake myself so that I get love and kindness in return.

Instead I would challenge you to give yourself love and kindness first, because then you are practicing the golden rule as it was intended. I love myself therefore I treat others with love and respect.

What are 3 ways you can show yourself love today?

Release the Old Version of You

It’s a good chance that before you were the age of seven you created some beliefs about yourself and the world that weren’t necessarily true. Most experts say that our core beliefs are developed by the time we are seven years old. When we are small children we view the world with a self centered lens. The way we perceive the behaviors of our caregivers towards us and others is how we navigate the world. This is how we learn to survive.

At seven I still believed in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, but I also perceived that my opinion didn’t matter, that expressing my joy, sadness, or emotions in general was not acceptable. Of course I didn’t know that I was creating a core belief that would shape my future. I’m sure my parents didn’t either as they were only in their 20s when I was born. I just knew that I was punished if I was excitedly happy and dancing around in the house, or had a tough day and expressed that only to be ignored. I think you get the idea. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a post about how you discipline your children. Instead, I want to show you how core beliefs are formed.

In order to find these limiting core beliefs you have to follow your triggers. When something triggers you, take that as a indicator that you have a belief that doesn’t resonate with your authentic self. If there is something you cannot stand about someone else, what is it, and where do you see that same quality in yourself. We all created versions of ourselves at a very young age to support our core beliefs. It’s time to reparent our inner child. Let go of the old version and let the new one in.

Some limiting beliefs for you to think about:

I am not the right (age, race, gender)

I am not smart enough

I am not educated enough

I always fail so I shouldn’t try

Loving myself is selfish

I don’t deserve it

I’m not enough

My opinion doesn’t matter

Bad things happen when I express my feelings

Let go of the Past

I have spent a lot of time digging through my past and working on my shadows over the past several months. I have discovered that once you have taken responsibility for the decisions you made, and the way that you contributed to a situation, don’t forget to forgive yourself and let it go.

I have noticed that even though I have changed my perspective and behavior, I am still holding onto the guilt and the shame from my past. This is causing me to relive these things over and over in my mind. It’s constant validation for the negative self talk that I am working so hard to put to rest.

During my meditations these past few weeks I keep receiving a message about Grace. Giving myself the grace that God has already blessed me with. The only one holding onto this stuff is me. If God has already forgiven me, why is it that I am not forgiving myself.

Once you process the past, holding onto it only creates resistance to receiving your blessings.

Trust

When I first began my spiritual journey, I trusted the messages that I was getting during my meditation. Then something happened, and I began to question everything.

Here’s what happened. I was so excited about all the experiences and things I was learning that I wanted to tell the people around me. That’s when the doubt started.

The people I was telling were firmly stuck in the matrix. They did not easily accept what I was learning as I had, and their doubt turned into me questioning what my intuition was telling me. The fear and doubt crept in, and my ego engaged. My intuition was now harder to hear, and distinguishing it from my intuition was difficult. It caused so much frustration that I felt more and more like giving up.

Even though it has been a “setback”, I think it was meant to happen this way, because in the process I am learning that we are all on a separate journey. We have different paths, different trauma, different approaches to life. My life lessons are different than my sisters and brothers, and more importantly, my parents have different life lessons. It puts a different perspective on parenting for sure, but that’s a whole separate post.

Listening to your own heart, how your own body reacts to your feelings. Noticing the things that trigger you and discovering where that particular trauma is buried for you is the most important, in my experience. All these things have lead me back to my intuition, my higher self, the holy spirit that is a part of us all. You have to look within, sit with it, and tell that monkey mind that you can trust heart.

Shadow Work – Follow the Feeling

While meditating this morning I was given a message, “Go out and live. Show the world your light.” I had a sense that spirit wanted me to go out and have fun. Or so I told myself. I instantly received feedback in my heart. I received a palpitation in my heart. This happens to me quite a bit, but this time I decided to follow it.

I sat with the feeling, and really focused. I tried to physically pin point it, once I found it, then I was able to decipher what the feeling was. To my surprise I discovered Fear > Unworthiness.

It brought me to a question. When did I begin telling myself that I was unworthy of letting go and having fun. Most importantly why?

Everyone deserves to have fun don’t they? By just following a feeling, I have the opportunity to reframe my perspective. To choose a different version of myself that leads with love, self love.

Being willing to explore our feelings as warning lights on the dashboard of life instead of potholes to avoid, we can heal and align ourselves with our truth. It take work, and we have to choose this path daily.

I’m grateful that I chose this path today.