Coincidence or Synchronicity?

I have been doing a lot of reading lately about the difference between a message from spirit and a thought. It became really clear to me this morning. When I get a message from spirit, it’s got a feeling attached to it instantly. When you are aligned with your soul, these can happen instantly.

Here’s an example. Last night I saw a rainbow out the window as I was painting. I took a picture because I thought it was pretty. At bedtime, it occurred to me that the last time I saw a rainbow was the day my sister and I took our trip to get the last of the things from her apartment. I instantly knew that rainbow was a message from my mom.

This morning I was speaking to a friend about the significance of rainbows. Not ten minutes after this conversation, I was listening to the radio and the Fleetwood Mac song, Seven Wonders, came on and in the chorus there’s a line about following the path to the rainbow’s edge. I felt warm and loved, and I knew that it was confirmation that indeed the rainbow was sent by mom.

Side note: My guides know that they can send me messages in song, so I get a lot of messages that way, but there are so many ways they send messages.

As I always tell people that want to connect with their loved ones. The more you are open to the messages, the more you will receive. Spirits figure out what works and keep doing it.

Everyday, I feel more in awe of the magic of the universe, God, and our planet.

Shadow Work – Follow the Feeling

While meditating this morning I was given a message, “Go out and live. Show the world your light.” I had a sense that spirit wanted me to go out and have fun. Or so I told myself. I instantly received feedback in my heart. I received a palpitation in my heart. This happens to me quite a bit, but this time I decided to follow it.

I sat with the feeling, and really focused. I tried to physically pin point it, once I found it, then I was able to decipher what the feeling was. To my surprise I discovered Fear > Unworthiness.

It brought me to a question. When did I begin telling myself that I was unworthy of letting go and having fun. Most importantly why?

Everyone deserves to have fun don’t they? By just following a feeling, I have the opportunity to reframe my perspective. To choose a different version of myself that leads with love, self love.

Being willing to explore our feelings as warning lights on the dashboard of life instead of potholes to avoid, we can heal and align ourselves with our truth. It take work, and we have to choose this path daily.

I’m grateful that I chose this path today.

Message from Spirit on People Pleasing

Stop living for other people. When you do this you are not authentic to yourself, to your truth. If you choose to make others happy with no regard for your own happiness and wellbeing, you are robbing them of a chance to manage their own truth. Soon no-one will be living their truth and everyone will be unhappy. If everyone is unhappy then the vibration of the planet will be lowered. Everyone will suffer. Every person on the planet has a mission to follow their heart.

Serendipity or Intentional

This morning I woke up feeling not so great about where I am at with my gifts. The problem is my patience. I want perfection and mastery now. I want things that come easy, just like most people. I want to have all the answers and understand everything all at once. The fact of the matter is that is just not what our 3D reality is about. Things take time. We learn by doing, by practice, by failing and rising again to try it a different way.

Failure has never been easy for me. Admitting it, learning from it, or even trying new things because of a fear of failure. Effort was not rewarded in my family, nor admitting our mistakes. Pride was king, the ego the master.

On my spiritual journey I been discovering how much I limit myself by the perceptions I have created about what it means to be successful, by listening to my ego. This morning my ego got the best of me. I was feeling frustrated, and ultimately impatient. As I logged onto my computer and turned on my Pandora this morning the first song that greeted me, Don’t Stop Believing by Journey. Was this serendipitous or a message from the universe? I’m sure you know what I think!

Trust

It’s amazing the peace that comes with trusting yourself and source. I always thought that I couldn’t trust myself if I didn’t get all the answers right, if I didn’t make all the best decisions. The truth is that we are meant to learn. I can trust that if I made a bad decision, it is because I had something to learn about how I perceive the world, or a situation. I might perceive something in a way that my intuition did not mean for me to receive it. The ego often gets in the way and interprets the information for us. The interpretation that comes form ego screams the response. It demands to be noticed.

I’ve learned that my intuition is subtle, gentle, kind, and loving. It never shouts, compares, judges, or puts you down. I like to think of them as two people sitting on my shoulders. One perceives everything through pure love and the other through a lense of the past, through fears, and limiting beliefs. If we can be honest with ourselves and with others love and light prevails. Sometimes this means we don’t get the job we thought we wanted, or the relationship that we had our heart set on.

Be honest to who you are at your core. Love yourself, accept even the dark things that you don’t share with others, and you will find all the happiness and abundance you could imagine.

On Pause

Things seem to be on pause the past few days. I know that there’s something on its way. The universe as told me so. I’ve been receiving numbers like crazy and tons of synchronicities.

It’s in these moments that karma is being sorted out and all I need to do is learn a lesson that has been presented to me. I feel that in my bones, and I even know what it is. I have to forgive myself for things I’ve been holding onto.

Some of those things I’ve been holding onto since childhood and some are newer. I either have to make amends or change my perspective. I know it’s in the past, I’ve already made amends to the people and gotten closure, but I’m holding onto the shame and guilt.

How do you forgive yourself for something you’ve not forgiven someone else for? I don’t think that you can. So I’ve discovered that my task has gotten bigger, not to mention I thought I had let it go.

The universe is telling me if I forgive and let go I will turn the wheel, this difficult cycle will end, yet here I am…stuck and all I want to do is cry. I want to forgive and move on, but my body won’t let it go. It’s really frustrating.

Devise a Plan

I’ve been receiving messages over the past few days that it’s time to form a plan. It is hard to manifest what you wish for if you don’t have a clear idea of what you’d like or where you are going. Write it down and be specific. What is your hearts desire?

Dr Joe Despenza, in his book Becoming Supernatural talks about mind movies. These mind movies are created with software and create a movie with music and quotes to acclimate your body to the frequency of what you want to manifest. You get yourself into receiving mode and play your mind movie.

I don’t intend to buy this software, but I can create a picture or day in the life in my mind and in my journal. I could make a vision board. What would that day look like? Who would I interact with. How would I feel? Really familiarize myself with what my body/emotions would feel like if I were living that life now.

It’s time to sit down and really feel it out. Come up with my plan.

Finding My Voice

How does one go about finding their voice? I have been getting nudges during my meditations, journalling and card pulls to use my voice. My abundance will come when I find my voice. This brings so much anxiety, because I have always felt that my voice doesn’t matter.

I was raised in an atmosphere where children were not valued for their ideas. I learned that fighting to be heard and sharing my opinions only got me punished or shamed. My ideas were only valid if they were good ideas, but how does a child know what a good idea is? The way that I reacted to this was to become introverted, say less, do more of what was expected. In this process I lost my authentic voice. I developed a fear of expressing my true authentic self because I percieved my worth to be determined by my ideas and thoughts.

Through this process of self discovery; of going within and confronting my traumas, I have learned that my coping mechanisms have lead me to is a place where I don’t have anyone that I connect with on a deep level. I have relationships built on external validation, internal protection, and a deep sense of lonliness. These types of connections happen when we can allow ourself to be authentic.

On the flip side, I have also learned that I am never alone. That my spirit guides, ancestors, and God are always with me. That to feel the depth of love and connection I must find myself. I must love, forgive, accept myself for the beautiful amazing woman I have become and have always been. I have learned that my worth is inherant. I do not earn it by someone liking my ideas. I always have that and so do you.

Part of this process is to share my authentic experience, my authentic voice with you. In doing this I hope to inspire others to look within, and find their authentic voice too.

Here are some things that I have been doing to get into alignment with my higher self:

Meditation – I do this daily even if it’s just for 10 minutes

Journalling – I write in my journal daily, even if it’s a list of things I am grateful for

Creative Expression – I like painting with acrylics on canvas, but you could do any mindfulness activity

Excercise/Yoga – Just moving your body, going for a walk, finding a yoga video on youtube.

Be in Nature – Literally hug a tree, take your shoes off and walk in the grass, hike, garden, lay on a beach, being in nature helps your body reset it’s frequency.

Before Bed – I list 5 things that I love about myself, just in my head

I really hope that this helps you. It will take time, and I am still discovering and learning. I really hope that I never stop.

Self Care Saturday

Our animals always take time out for self care, and they don’t appear to suffer from the guilt that sometimes goes along with it for humans. Is it no wonder that they seem happy and content much of the time.

Self care is important for our bodies and our minds to function in alignment with our highest self; yet choosing it over helping our friends and family, or completing some chore or errand may be seen as selfish. This can cause feelings of guilt and shame to surface.

I would like to challenge all of us to change our perceptions about self care and choose show ourselves love and compassion with acts of self care daily.

Today I decided to start with self care. I did my yoga, meditated, wrote in my journal. I’m lucky if I do just one of these things on a normal day, I’m glad to report that I feel balanced and centered as well as inspired to do the other things that require my attention today with a happy heart.

Making an Introduction

Hello, my name is Gretchen. I have decided to share with you my journey of self discovery. It’s been long overdue.

I am 46 years old, I’ve lived most of my life by other peoples rules and expectations. I know that my parents and grandparents did their best. I want to make that perfectly clear. I love them so much for everything they have taught me and shown me along the way. I would not be who I am or even on this path if it weren’t for them.

Just to give you a bit of personal history. I am the oldest child of my parents. They were both in their early 20s newly married and I came along a year later. My dad was a child of an alcoholic and an alchoholic himself at the time. He would find recovery a few years later after the birth of my sister. On the heels of that would be their divorce. I lived with my mother who was very young at the time going through her own emotional rollercoaster. She worked evenings which would lead to numerous babysitters and never feeling safe when I went to sleep at night.

Fast forward a few years my mother would meet her second husband. He was 9 years her junior and 11 years older than me. This was a hard dynamic for me, and I did not feel safe with him either. He had a temper and sometimes a cruel sense of humor. During this time I spend lots of time with my maternal grandparents who were the rock I needed and gave me the stability I craved. It came at a price, that I am just now discovering so many years later.

That price was my losing my voice. Children were supposed to be seen and not heard. I did so much to please them, but as a small child I interpretted that as my thoughts and ideas were not valuable. My outword expressions turned into inward struggles against my true self. I developed depression, low self esteem, and later anxiety.

I married my high school boyfriend who had issues with anger, and who on so many occassions triggered my feelings of abandonment and worthlessness. I became co-dependant to his emotions and feelings. I lost connection to myself even more. We divorced after 16 years of marriage. That was in 2017. After a few failed relationships that have followed in the past few years, I am finally taking the time to work through the trauma’s of my childhood, family traumas, and baggage carried through my marriage.

I hope that by sharing what I have gone through can help other people discover and recover. Welcome!