Being the Miracle for Someone Else

Over the weekend I had a chance to hang out with my niece. I decided to take her to dinner and to play some games at Dave and Busters. We had so much fun! At dinner she got a really cool hypercolor straw that changed colors based on temperature. Which she thought was the coolest. Then I splurged and got the big card with a lot of coins on it, so we could play for a while together.

We were having a blast, until we came upon the big claw machine. She tried and tried to get a stuffed animal as big as her, but to no avail. So we took a break and played other games for a while. Then we went back to the claw machine. There was a line, and people were taking turns. Everything was going great, until my nieces turn. She dislodged the stuffy she wanted, and it would have only taken one more try and that stuffy would have been hers, but the next little girl was waiting. I know that my niece was going to be heartbroken, but everyone was taking turns so nicely. And, I could tell by looking at this little girl that she probably didn’t have these kinds of opportunities that often.

My niece is quite fortunate to be an only child of very loving and fun parents, not to mention some cool aunts and uncles. She has had so many fun experiences and has a room full of stuffies at home. She handled it like a champ even though I could tell how disappointed she was to hand the controls over to this little girl, she did it graciously but with a look of disappointment I knew that we would have to talk about.

That little girl won the prize and got that big stuffy, and showed no kindness to my niece even though it was she who set up that little miracle for her and handed over the controls. It broke my heart to watch that interaction, but it was then that I realized, sometimes you are the miracle for another person. You set someone up for a win, and there is a prize in that too.

In fact we walked over to the small crane machines close by and she won a small stuffed dog that she promptly named golden for it’s color. I paid for a little girl that had no money to play the claw next to us, and the boy on the other side won 3 stuffies at once and handed one to my niece and the little girl I had just paid for. He was so sweet, and my heart was happy.

My niece would end up coming home with a bag full of fun prizes including a stuffed sloth that was 1/2 her size, and some other fun things. She, by no means left empty handed. We had a great night, and we contributed to making that little girls experience one that she won’t forget for a while.

It’s important to look at the bigger picture. Which is sometimes hard to do in the moment, but if we can, we can affect others around us, and at the same time feed our soul by spreading love. Plus, when we do God’s work, we will be rewarded. Generosity and kindness will find you, if that is what you are putting out. So, I encourage you to be kind and generous, and teach your children to do the same. Be that miracle for someone else, no matter how small.

Mirroring

I have read so many articles and books in the past 3 years about people mirroring each other, but the truth is that your external life mirrors how you feel internally.

I was just journaling as I normally do at the end of my day, and I stumbled upon something very interesting. I was rambling on in my journal about feeling alone, and not having a “family” of my own to build traditions and a life. Of course, this time of year brings these issues to light for a lot of us.

Don’t get me wrong I have lovely friends and extended family that I enjoy so much, but I’m not married and I have a challenging relationship with my children. It leaves me on my own a lot especially during traditional family times.

I don’t need to wait until those things come into my life. I know they will when the time is right. I don’t have to see this alone time as a bad thing and I certainly don’t need to wait to start making plans for my life.

What I’m desiring externally is what I ‘m really craving from myself. I can give myself love, support, and a plan for the future. Things that a relationship and family of my own will fit into.

When all you really want at the end of the day is someone who loves you unconditionally, doesn’t judge you for your mistakes, and allows you to be authentically yourself; you can be that person for yourself. Be your own biggest cheerleader.

Love Yourself

There is a golden rule in Christianity that says “Do unto others that you’d have done to you,” but society has focused on others, and forgotten the part where we must also show ourselves love.

We focus so much on being kind to others and treating them with respect, even if we aren’t treating ourselves that way.

We have to give ourselves the love and kindness we give others. If we aren’t giving it to ourselves first, others won’t either. Like attracts like, it’s one of the universal laws. We show people how to treat us, how to love us.

When there isn’t a balance between loving ourself and others codependency results. I need to prove my love and kindness to others and forsake myself so that I get love and kindness in return.

Instead I would challenge you to give yourself love and kindness first, because then you are practicing the golden rule as it was intended. I love myself therefore I treat others with love and respect.

What are 3 ways you can show yourself love today?

Love

We are devoted to our dogs and they are devoted to us. We treat them like our babies, and spoil them. We love them unconditionally, because they love us without expectation. It’s easy for us to reciprocate the love our dog gives us. It’s a sure thing. Our dogs love us and we love them back, but it’s different with human relationships isn’t it. But why?

In human relationships there’s always a question of if I give love will it be reciprocated? Society has taught us that love is something that comes with time and checking all the boxes. That isn’t how love works, and that causes confusion and discord in our heart. We begin seeing love as earned, but love just is. What happens when we start seeing self love the same way? We have to earn it?

When does someone become lovable? When do we become lovable? This should never be a question. Love is inherent. We come to this life as an unconditional loving and lovable being. There should never be a question, or criteria for someone to “deserve love.” It’s our birthright. Who are we to decide who is lovable?

So, let’s all take a tip from our canine companions. Let’s see each other and ourselves through the lens of love. There is no criteria or expectation for love, it just is. Allow it to manifest in your life and treat all beings in a loving way.

Today I Allow Myself to be Loved

When our feelings are ignored by our caregivers as small children we develop trauma wounds around feelings. We begin to think that if my feelings are bad, then I must be bad. I am unlovable. I’m not worthy of love. Of course this is a simplified example, but you get the idea. In this example as a child you determine that you are unlovable. Yet, love is what we as humans desire most.

Our ego minds look to the world around us for evidence of what we believe at the core level. So, as we get older we unknowingly find people and situations to prove we are unlovable. We find friends and partners that we always have to prove our worth to.

If we do find people that try to show us love it feels uncomfortable. Often times we run from these people, or do something so they leave us. It doesn’t jive with our core belief that we are unlovable.

It’s important to recognize this pattern and do the healing necessary to allow love into your life. Especially, self love.