I have read so many articles and books in the past 3 years about people mirroring each other, but the truth is that your external life mirrors how you feel internally.
I was just journaling as I normally do at the end of my day, and I stumbled upon something very interesting. I was rambling on in my journal about feeling alone, and not having a “family” of my own to build traditions and a life. Of course, this time of year brings these issues to light for a lot of us.
Don’t get me wrong I have lovely friends and extended family that I enjoy so much, but I’m not married and I have a challenging relationship with my children. It leaves me on my own a lot especially during traditional family times.
I don’t need to wait until those things come into my life. I know they will when the time is right. I don’t have to see this alone time as a bad thing and I certainly don’t need to wait to start making plans for my life.
What I’m desiring externally is what I ‘m really craving from myself. I can give myself love, support, and a plan for the future. Things that a relationship and family of my own will fit into.
When all you really want at the end of the day is someone who loves you unconditionally, doesn’t judge you for your mistakes, and allows you to be authentically yourself; you can be that person for yourself. Be your own biggest cheerleader.
A very direct and very important message from the divine source…
Stand your ground in matters of the heart that involve your self worth. Nothing good comes from backing down on this point. It matters that both of you respect and honor each other in all ways. Don’t ever make someone choose between loving you and loving themselves. That is manipulation and is not honorable in any sense. We show people how much we value ourselves by what we will endure from them in a relationship.
This is most important in relationships with our children. You should never put your children in a position where they must chose between their own self worth and their love for you. You should not allow this to happen in front of them either. This is the basis of self worth issues. Don’t manipulate, humiliate, or judge.
Are your goals materialistic in nature? Are they expectations placed on you by family or society, or do they come from your heart? Will they make you happy? Are they attainable?
When I was fresh out of high school my goals were prescribed to me by society and family expectations. My goals were to go to college (picking a realistic major), have a good business job that afforded me a comfortable living, and to start my own family.
As I look back now, how shallow that all sounds. I was completely neglecting the aspects of myself that made my heart sing. I was neglecting my creative, loving, kind, sensitive side completely. I was making my family happy, but where was I in all of this?
As I have walked this new spiritual path I have realized that my goals have completely changed. They are no longer material in nature, but soul satisfying. I don’t really care anymore what society or my family want for me. My goals are now based on healing my shadows, living a life that balances my internal peace with my external freedom of expression and love. My goal is to be in the flow, and to use my intuition to guide me and show me where there is work to do.
I have discovered that caring about fitting in with the masses is like chasing your tail. There’s always something else to want or to be, and you don’t really have a say. I happen to like pumpkin spiced lattes and romantic comedies even though they make me “basic” according to the folks on social media.
So I challenge you to take a look at what you’re striving to become or be. Is it what makes your heart sing or is it an idea that someone else has decided is right for you? Embrace your authenticity and make your goals something that will grow you as a person.
We are devoted to our dogs and they are devoted to us. We treat them like our babies, and spoil them. We love them unconditionally, because they love us without expectation. It’s easy for us to reciprocate the love our dog gives us. It’s a sure thing. Our dogs love us and we love them back, but it’s different with human relationships isn’t it. But why?
In human relationships there’s always a question of if I give love will it be reciprocated? Society has taught us that love is something that comes with time and checking all the boxes. That isn’t how love works, and that causes confusion and discord in our heart. We begin seeing love as earned, but love just is. What happens when we start seeing self love the same way? We have to earn it?
When does someone become lovable? When do we become lovable? This should never be a question. Love is inherent. We come to this life as an unconditional loving and lovable being. There should never be a question, or criteria for someone to “deserve love.” It’s our birthright. Who are we to decide who is lovable?
So, let’s all take a tip from our canine companions. Let’s see each other and ourselves through the lens of love. There is no criteria or expectation for love, it just is. Allow it to manifest in your life and treat all beings in a loving way.
When our feelings are ignored by our caregivers as small children we develop trauma wounds around feelings. We begin to think that if my feelings are bad, then I must be bad. I am unlovable. I’m not worthy of love. Of course this is a simplified example, but you get the idea. In this example as a child you determine that you are unlovable. Yet, love is what we as humans desire most.
Our ego minds look to the world around us for evidence of what we believe at the core level. So, as we get older we unknowingly find people and situations to prove we are unlovable. We find friends and partners that we always have to prove our worth to.
If we do find people that try to show us love it feels uncomfortable. Often times we run from these people, or do something so they leave us. It doesn’t jive with our core belief that we are unlovable.
It’s important to recognize this pattern and do the healing necessary to allow love into your life. Especially, self love.
It’s fall and leaves fall off the trees this time of year. The leaves are reabsorbed into by the earth bringing nutrients to the tree. One of the universal laws, the Law of Correspondence, says that patterns repeat throughout the universe. It’s no surprise then that we can take the example of the leaves falling from the tree in the autumn to how your emotions leave your body so that they can be transmuted into love to nourish your soul. You see, feelings are turned into emotions by your body. If you don’t allow yourself to feel your feelings your body traps these emotions causing damage to your body in the way of disease, depression, anxiety, fear, etc. If a tree didn’t lose the dead leaves in the fall, there would be no place for new leaves to form and the tree would be deprived of the additional nourishment. The dead leaves clog up the system.
Make it a point to check in with yourself everyday. Think about what the day brought you, feel into you body and notice any places that hold discomfort, feelings, emotions that you might be holding onto. A tense drive home in traffic, a crabby child, an unbalanced budget, or maybe a deadline at work. In what way did these things trigger you to feel negatively about yourself. Let go of these things before they clog up your system.
Think of your spiritual journey as more of a quest to discover yourself. It’s a treasure to be found and embraced. You are finding the truth of your life and the magnitude of your gifts. To release all the trauma and trapped emotions is really your goal. Just when you think you have won, there will be new things that develop and come to the surface as your vibration rises. Try not to be discouraged because at each level of your quest, you will achieve a treasure. Your treasure will be the truth of your soul. Each level that you “pass” will show you another layer of your truth. Your authentic self, which is pure love, will begin to shine brightly. Higher vibrational people and opportunities will come to you.
You must believe in the journey, and be committed to the quest, for it will be long and painful, but the reward far outways the cost. This will deter many, but if you’re willing to accept the challenge, you will find it worth the effort.
By going on this quest, this spiritual journey, you will affect more than yourself. You will help illuminate the truth for everyone else too. Your love will shine the light for others. Many think of a spiritual journey as becoming closer to God, when really, it’s becoming more authentically yourself. God is love, so are you.
To understand yourself you must accept that the universe and everything in it is connected, and that every small thing has an effect on another. That everything you do, say or think has a vibration, with a reaction in your body. These things will affect you, but also everyone else. The waves of your actions flow outward and touch every soul. We are all one, that is the biggest lesson of all.
I take my dogs out first thing when I wake up in the morning. The weather was really chilly and I wanted to make this a really quick trip. There’s two routes that I normally go with them, this time I went the short one that doesn’t have anything to look at but a road and a strip mall. As I was standing there waiting on my plot hound to do his business with my teeth chattering I was being urged to walk toward the pond.
Now let me tell you this was the last thing I wanted to do. First it would add time to the walk and I was already frozen and not dressed for more cold. Second, that means open spaces for wind tow come and whip my face and hands. I debated for a moment and then thought to myself. There must be something that God wants me to see.
Sure enough, maybe a dozen steps past where I would have normally turned around I saw this…
This beauty was sitting right in between two pine trees in a long row. The colors were amazing, the picture was taken on my phone and doesn’t do it justice.
Listen to the whispers urging you to take a left instead of a right or take just a few more steps. When you have a feeling that you should phone a friend you haven’t spoken with in a long time. That moment when you turn the radio on and it reminds you of someone.
I have stopped considering these things coincidences. These are messages from God/Universe, or whatever higher power you subscribe to. When we listen to these messages our lives become richer and more abundant. When we trust this guidance, we are tapping into the essence of our creator. It lives in all of us. Whether spiritual or not, it’s here for us as long as we believe.
Everyone wants things to come to them instantly these days. When in reality times is a human construct, an affliction that we as humans have created for ourselves. The real fact is that time as we have come to know it does not exist.
Really there are many timelines of our lives and each has a vibration. When we set our heart on something we want, the only thing left to do is raise your vibration to the timeline that you already have what you want. In simple terms, this means that you must feel vibrationally like you already have what you want. Once you express to your higher power what you want it is done. Yes, sometimes there are things that the universe must do to prepare for you to have what you desire.
Your job is to keep yourself aligned with the vibration of what you want. What would it feel like if you had that new job, that extra money in your bank account, etc. Just remain open to how you receive it. You cannot control how and when it will come. Raise your vibration to meet it and so it will be.
Here are some things you can do to raise your vibration today:
*Go for a walk, be in nature
*Listen to music
*Visualize what you want/make a vision board
*Make a plan/Meet the universe half way
*Do something creative (whatever makes your heart sing)
When I first began my spiritual journey, I trusted the messages that I was getting during my meditation. Then something happened, and I began to question everything.
Here’s what happened. I was so excited about all the experiences and things I was learning that I wanted to tell the people around me. That’s when the doubt started.
The people I was telling were firmly stuck in the matrix. They did not easily accept what I was learning as I had, and their doubt turned into me questioning what my intuition was telling me. The fear and doubt crept in, and my ego engaged. My intuition was now harder to hear, and distinguishing it from my intuition was difficult. It caused so much frustration that I felt more and more like giving up.
Even though it has been a “setback”, I think it was meant to happen this way, because in the process I am learning that we are all on a separate journey. We have different paths, different trauma, different approaches to life. My life lessons are different than my sisters and brothers, and more importantly, my parents have different life lessons. It puts a different perspective on parenting for sure, but that’s a whole separate post.
Listening to your own heart, how your own body reacts to your feelings. Noticing the things that trigger you and discovering where that particular trauma is buried for you is the most important, in my experience. All these things have lead me back to my intuition, my higher self, the holy spirit that is a part of us all. You have to look within, sit with it, and tell that monkey mind that you can trust heart.