Last night I had a conversation about forgiveness. Why is it that when we want to forgive we sometimes have such a hard time? We might even no longer feel the emotions of the situation, and we are no longer in “conflict” with the person or situation. When you have intellectualized and analyzed the situation to death, and yet you still cannot forgive.
There are many reasons that people have come up with for this, such as that you aren’t ready to forgive. Another is that it’s a process and a choice you make every day. You might see something of yourself in the other person that reminds you of yourself such as a motivation or perspective that you don’t want to address.
However, I was struck by a thought this morning in the shower, where I do my best thinking, might I add. What if we cannot forgive because we cannot forgive ourselves for the things that we have done? Holding onto the guilt/shame because we are afraid to process it and release it for good.
Ask for forgiveness from the person we offended, and acknowledge our wrong doing to God and we are forgiven. If we give our lives to Jesus we are saved from the burden of it because he died for them. This, I want to say, is difficult when you think of people who murder and commit child abuse. Surely, that cannot not be forgiven. Yet, they are forgiven by God. He’s the only one who knows their story. (P.S. I grew up a Christian, so this is my Christian belief, but I respect all religion and I believe that all religions lead to the same God)
I know this is a heavy topic, but I think it’s food for thought.
Let’s figure out how to forgive ourselves, and by forgiving ourselves we can set our self free to forgive others. That’s what God would want us to do, right?