I was reminded again this morning that even though you are able to see the bigger picture of a situation, not everyone is, especially those that are deeply entrenched in it. Even though you may have already discovered the lesson in the book they are reading they might not be at the part of the book to understand what’s going on. Or, they might be reading multiple books and need to get to a certain chapter in a different book to understand what’s going on in this one. They have to live through the chapters to understand the lesson. That’s what life is all about. They won’t understand until they are ready to.
The purpose of telling you this is because I want to give you support if you see a family member or friend going through something really hard, and the answers are clear to you, but they just can’t see it, or act upon it to better their situation. Ask any parent if you need examples.
Be patient with them and with yourself. Our journeys are unique. They may have lots of similarities, but we are not here to put everyone in a box. When we can accept our own experience, and meet ourselves where we are at, to express ourselves authentically… then we can hold that space for the people we love to accept themselves and their experiences. To learn the lessons and grow in their own time.
This is a big lesson for me and I am working to embrace this more. I like to think I have lots of wisdom that I have learned in my 47 years, and I would love to help my family and friends to benefit from the things I have discovered. When my friends or family ask my advice and then don’t accept my guidance, or even hear my advice because of the emotions of the situation, I start telling myself that I must not have conveyed the message clearly or they don’t care. Really, it’s because they aren’t there yet. Eventually, they will get there, and when they do we can have a party, but it’s important to accept where they are.
It’s also a lesson for me to work on that negative self talk in my brain that says I failed them in some way. You cannot help someone that isn’t ready to be helped. If they are not in resonance with the advice, it will not sink in. Be consistent, and eventually they will hear it and realize it’s just what they needed and like me, wonder what why it didn’t click sooner.
It’s a journey friends, we are all on a different one. Embrace it! Enjoy it!
And stop being hard on yourself when someone doesn’t listen to your advice!