When I first started addressing my childhood trauma I would say a prayer asking God what I needed to let go of or address before meditating. I would always hear Gods calm steady voice say greed. I was confused.
I began meditating on the word Greed, and I realized that trying to control everything is in fact greedy and I never thought of it like that. I would never have labeled myself that way.
I have always been hyper independent and a loner. I always wanted to do things myself because I couldn’t trust other people. I learned I couldn’t depend on anyone.
Also, I wasn’t involving God in my divisions either. I never held space for him to move in my life and guide me.
The biggest way I was trying to control was in my relationships. By giving my power away to keep the peace, and making myself small I could control situations. I also tried to control how people saw me.
So, yes, I believe I was being unknowingly greedy. I thank God for bringing this to my attention. It’s been life changing.
I challenge you to think about what aspects of your life you are trying to control?